Flying high with Eric

Hi guys

I was flying today from Panama City to San Francisco and had a hilarious trip with an unnamed airline.....its a true story and I thought that I would share it with you all...
As we are seated the flight attendant comes out and announces the following....

"Ladies and genttlemen if you have an Ipod, I Phone or I touch... we are completely impressed.
We ask you to turn off your equipment when the aircraft is taking off.
For those who dont understand what Off means... that does not mean game mode, aeroplane mode, or sleep mode...
OFF MEANS OFF
But you can look up the meaning in the dictionary... but dont google it now... because if you do, its a $25,000 fine and if you can afford the fine then you would have flown with United."

"Now there are 20 ways to leave your lover.... but there are 6 ways to leave this plane in a case of emergency... we have signs overhead and disco lights on the floor.."

"If we are lucky enough for this flight to turn into a cruise.... the life jackets are under the seats... we have 4 lovely designer matching oxygen masks available....
nitrus oxide... sorry oxygen will be flowing at 75cents for the first minute and 25 cents for each additional minute after that....."

"If you are travelling with a small child...............WHY?????????
or if you are sitting next to your husband who is acting like a child... then put the mask on yourself first......"

"This is a non complaining, non whining, non smoking flight.....
Federal officers prohibit the tampering, destroying of smoke detectors in the toilets.... Blah.... Blah..... Blah.... Blah.....
If you must smoke, the smoking area is outside on the wing... if you can light it, then you can smoke it... and feel free to watch our inflight movie out there...
GONE WITH THE WIND.."

As we land... his departing words were
"Now get off the plane"

KT

Sex in the City

Hi friends and family.

Well I have reached country number eight in Central America....yea....
As you can see from the blogs... it has been an interesting and challenging journey.. but yet rewarding....
On my way to Panama City there I was standing at a bus stop when I met 2 girls.
Little did I know what the conservation would bring us all.

Meg and Erin were 2 sisters from Seattle. They were in shorts, flip flops with matching backpacks (could I have found a set of long lost flashpacking sisters?). They looked like they had just come out of the jungle. I knew when I met them that we were alike and we were going to have great fun... There they were ....Crumpled clothes, hairy legs and granny pants. They had just tracked through Central America for 2 months and I for four months. So what does a girl with hairy legs do in her first metrapolitan city (with skyscrapers) in four months.....take the team and turn us back into girls again.

Our first stop was a huge two story shopping mall... (just like a westfield). Off goes the granny panties into some beautiful lace ..... underwear, off goes the shorts into some sexy playful dresses, the flip flops are replaced with some stunning heals (only one pair each girls). Our afternoon of pedicures, waxing and a perfect evening finished with a $3 Sex in the City Movie night.... in airconditioning...... The girls were not short of a date nor plenty of whistles....
my work is done......

Panama city is a interesting city with skyscrapers on one side and slums on the other...
We have been staying in Casco Viejo which is not unlike Havana in Cuba... I thought it was pretty and was saying to a local friend how beautiful it was.... his reply was..."dont be fooled... you are still living in the slums... 6 months ago they were slitting each others throats in the back alley way"....mmmm comforting...

Panama city lends itself to a 77 km shopping (ooops shipping) canal. It joins the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean. The canal has approx 16,000 ships passing through it each year... It was built in 1914 and was only recently handed over to Panama by the USA in 1999. It has 3 locks and the picture is of Miraflores Lock where we spent a morning. The most expensive price that has been paid has been $400,000 and the smallest is by Richard Halliburton in 1928 when he swam through and paid 36 cents. All boats book their spot two months in advance and every day the authority auctions off the last vacant spot to the highest bidder.

I have just secured a 9 week placement back in the USA doing volunteer work for the Option Institute which is a place that works with families with Austistic Kids.
I am the new assistant marketing person (which I know nothing about... but will find a way). So at last I will stand still for a while....Fancy sleeping in the same bed for 9 weeks... luxury......

Anyway I decided to take an interview with the USA embasy to extend my USA visa from 3 months to 6 months..... they loved me so much they granted me a 10 year non resident visa................. go figure.......
Now to answer all those questions that you have been emailing me....no I am not staying in the USA for 10 years.... and yes I will come home.... one day....

take care all

Kat

Operation Lion King

INVENTORY

(1)HEAD COVER (CHECK)-to stop little friendly fellas from dropping into your hair and establishing new families into your scalp

(2)TORCH (CHECK)-(to spot the targets or friendly fireflies)

(3)LONG PANTS (CHECK)- to hide the white legs of the Europeans so we dont give away our position.

(4)THICK SOCKS (CHECK)- to tuck the long pants into... to stop anything from climbing up your legs into your knickers (thats of course you are wearing any... we are backpackers)

(5)ENCLOSED SHOES (CHECK)- to stop slimy things from squishing and burrying themselves inbetween your toes

(6)LONG SLEEVED JACKET (CHECK)-to stop you from becomming a banquet for the bugs

(7)FLASHPACKERS LIP GLOSS (CHECK)- not a good idea- it just encourages the little fellas to stick onto you and form new colonies

(8)NIGHT TEAM (CHECK)- headcount... there are 10 of us.. of which 4 are French... this is going to be interesting

(9)TEAM LEADER (CHECK)- we have the Steve Irwin of all guides..... his job is to identify the targets so we can shoot and get us out alive

(10)BUDDY GIRLFRIEND (CHECK)- to scare the sh** out of when you get bored in the dark....yep it works...

(11) WALKIE TALKIE(CHECK)- to communicate with the other teams to maximise our stay and allow the execution of our mission sucessful

LOCATION
Thats classified
(but I am sure that you would know from the scenery Monteverde... Costa Rica)

MISSION
Leave nothing but footprints
Take nothing but pictures
Kill nothing but time

EXECUTION
With our inventory checked off... out teams in place... torches on....and buddy scare completed ......we have just recieved a Radio tip off that our first target has just been spotted.....as we run through the jungle on the night jungle tour... yep you guessed it... we have found him....

A two toed tree sloth... doing sloth stuff...hanging upside down feeding.
In fact they spend most of their lives upside down... and can rotate their head backwards (not unlike the Exorcist, except without the projectile vomiting).
Target identified and shot...

A female tarantula , only coming out to take her prey...it puts a new slant on the book EAT PREY LOVE..... or perhaps PRAY EAT LOVE....target identified and shot...

Then there was the deadly snake(so deadly I forgot its name)... I was being a female and looking at about 10 different other things...but one of the most deadliest snake in Central America.... so cute you want to take it home in your top pocket...

We were then instructed to turn all torches off....(the universe is testing me ... you know I hate the dark). Then I felt a thousand pairs of eyes in the jungle staring at me.....why was I all of a sudden in the next Madagascar movie....

Fireflies everywhere...sending out their own morse code light signals to match their mating species...I wonder what happends if they get confused and get a dash and a dot mixed up..

Anyway back to the lights...when our torches were off we were told to hold onto the person next to us....then the unthinkable....... yep you guessed it
the most dangerous predator of all appeared....
more dangerous than any snake, wild cat, or spider.....
it landed right smack bang on my girlfriends butt.....

Crikey it was the hand of the tour guide.

Now I thought he said to hold the hand of the person next to you...but Damm I must have misheared.... he must have said butt not hand....sorry french man.

Lights on... fireflies off... hands off butt and hands apart..
Mind you its the first time I have seen my girlfirend lost for words...
Exit jungle... 10 persons still in tact.

MISSION ACOMPLISHED

CODE NAME KITTY KAT

PS yes that is a photo of a mother scorpion with her babies on her back..