-22.22222222222222222222

Dear friends and family,
After 14 months on my continuing eat,pray, love journey, I had a great urge to sit in the wilderness in silence....(yes for all those who know me personally... silence).
A friend of mine suggested a 4 day silent meditation retreat in Montana. So within a week .....I was off to Montana after Bridgewatch.
Now I just need to get this straight... I dont even know where Montana is... but what I do know is its cold.

After having completed a 10 day silent retreat with Vipassna in the Blue Mountains...I said to myself...4 days... in the mountains... piece of cake...

So on a cold chilly morning at 6am I departed San Francisco Airport for Billings, Montana.- where ever that is.We soon landed at midday.. in the snow...(yea) and 10 beautiful women boarded the Fidel Ranch Bus and headed for the retreat...We soon arrived and got settled...

It was a real American Ranch with cows, goats and chickens... and snow... lots of it.
Day one I set my intention... worthiness. to meditate on... so we were up at 5.30am.
We were given our words of wisdom to meditate on for the day.... mine read...
"What lies behind me and what lies in front of me, pales in comparision to what lies inside of me"".... great the universe is playing in my sandbox again....

So let me give your the picture... 10 women... now allowed to connect with each other or talk for the next 4 days.... mmmmmmmmmm.
As the group started to wander in....... in what appeared to be Artic Expedition attire.... I knew immediately I was underdressed. I managed to borrow a pair of ski pants before I left Boston, and buy what looked like a dead racoon hat which took me straight out of a Dr Sharvargo movie.

We all lined up our reclining deckchairs on the outside deck (yes outside)..... climbed into our sleeping bags and began to meditate. I have a duck down jacket, two pairs of socks, 5 jumpers, a balaclava, my dead racoon on my head, two sleeping bags and two blankets. And I am still freezing....

Meditation has begun... and we are waiting for the sun to rise.
me: shut up and be silent
my mind: wonder how the people are going back home
me: shhhhhhhhhh
my mind: its bloody cold here and I dont think I can feel my toes
me: will you stop being dramatic
my mind: I wonder if I have frost bite and my toes are going to fall off....
me: shhhhhhhhhhhhh
my mind: If my toes fell off I wonder if could still ski or hike...in fact I wonder if there is any sport I can do without my toes...
I love my toes... thank you god for my toes.
My teeth is chattering... is that cheating...??

People are getting adjusted and making noise, moving around and getting comfortable.
My mind: Cant they see that I am meditating, cant they be quiet.
me: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I am still waiting for the sun to rise. The next thing I open my eyes and I think I have falled asleep.Oh no I have missed the sunrise. Lucky I still have tomorrow.

Now the benefit about meditating is.. if you close your eyes and fall asleep... noone knows...they think you are meditating.... but if you do it in the Montana... when you wake up you may find that its so cold... that your eyelashes are frozen and stuck together (yepp you betcha).

My nose is cold, I cant feel my toes, my fake racoon is snap frozen and my eyelashes are falling out.... and I have to go to the bathroom...Why do I always have to go to the bathroom when I meditate?
I can leave now... but I will become one of those noisy people who bothered me at the beginning... or I can hang on and wonder if my bladder will explode.
Then the chime goes off ... I am out of there....

You may ask why would I subject myself to this?....... I am glad you asked...... After two days I managed to get the left side of my brain to finally stop chattering and open the right side of my brain.. It is there where I find a place of absolute peace, serenity,love and creativity. A place that has no concept of time. It is when I come out of that place where I managed to create the structure of my book in which I have been trying to write for the past 14 months.

Whats with the -22.22222222222222222............. well thats what the temperature was one morning when we were waiting for the sun to rise.(thats -8 for the USA people).

Where to next... South America to thaw out my toes

Chow...
Katrina